On Plants

Plants are nice. I wouldn't say I'm a nature person (not by a long stretch), but a good old houseplant can really spruce up a room. Especially a little college dorm room.

Here are some guidelines for keeping potted plants.

1) Make sure their container is big enough for them. I guess it is different for every plant, but a good rule of thumb is that the diameter of the pot should be at least as wide as half of the plant's height.

2) Speaking of rules of thumb, use your thumb (or finger) to test when your plant should be watered. If you touch the soil and it is dry...water it. Duh.

3) Back to pots, a good container should have holes in the bottom for drainage. You can put the pot on a dish so it doesn't ruin your carpet or windowsill.

4) Even though your plant is inside, it will still need some good old-fashioned sunlight, so keep that in mind when setting up a nice place for it.

5) Consider fertilizer...plants outside get a lot of soil with a lot of nutrients, but inside plants not so much (plus the frequent watering washes any vitamins and minerals away).

6) Know what kind of plant you have. All plants are a little different and annuals, perennials, etc. all have different needs. This tulip I've got is kind of baffling me because it's a bulb, for instance. People keep telling me to put it in the freezer, which seems kind of counterintuitive...

There's a part of the book Good Omens where Crawley the demon has a trick to growing the healthiest, most verdant plants in London. Basically, in the time-honored tradition, he talks to his plants. Well, threatens them. And every once in a while he'll find the least impressive of his potted plants and take it out of the room, and then come back and put its empty pot somewhere conspicuous so the other plants know...

But if you're not a demon (and if you're not growing a small forest in your dorm) then I probably shouldn't recommend this method.