Misadventures in the Bathroom

I was planning on doing a piece about the general oddness of French bathrooms and plumbing a bit later on in my stay, but I've just walked in on an old French woman peeing in this cafe bathroom, so I figure, why delay the inevitable?

There is nothing like a French bathroom, except maybe an Italian bathroom. Hm this post is starting off well...there is nothing like a European bathroom. In France, and I believe in Italy and Spain and maybe even England, when you're out and you need to use the facilities, you don't ask for the bathrooms, you ask for the toilets. I never really understood why this was, however, until this trip; I have yet to see an Aixian room, in hotel, apartment, or (obviously) tiny cafe where the toilet is housed along with the bath. It just must not make sense, therefore, to ask for the bathroom when what you really want is a place to wee.

So yes...the French woman seemed perfectly cool with me coming in on her while she was indisposed (lock the door, lady!), which was alarming, but not as alarming as the state of the toilette itself. Strangely, the shining porcelain structure seemed to take up the central focus of the (very small) room, which was mainly because it had been wired to sit at least a foot out from the wall. Also, it had no seat. This must have caused folks such as said old woman to become unbalanced, for the floor was...well, anyways. At least there was a sink.

Which is more than can be said for the toilet-rooms in both the hotel and the apartment where I'm currently staying. Before you leap away aghast from the computer screen (in the irrational fear, I'm supposing, that my filthy fingers have somehow transmitted their diseased state electronically through miles and miles to come spilling out of your monitor), yes, there is a sink, but it's in a room of its own, with the bath or shower, a mirror, etc. The toilet (and the bidet...and I am not even going there) (or, in the case of my apartment, and the washing machine) get to be alone. It's weird. And, I think, inconvenient.

Which brings me to the "shower" facilities. Why can no one get this? What is so difficult about thinking up a place to clip the showerhead for when you want to wash your hair? I guess I can accept the desire to hold it two inches from your foot, especially in such a dry and dusty climate, but what about the rest of the time, messieursdames? Alsooo, do we really need to force the shower into a 2x2 foot box? With a 1-inch lip? And a flimsy (water-absorbent???) curtain? We've already taken the toilet (and bidet, and washing machine) out of the picture, let's at least expand the dimensions of the shower. The mini-shower nearly decapitated me when I tried to lean down to wash the soap off of my legs with the detachable showerhead and then stood up again, only to bash my thoracic vertebrae forcibly against the water pressure knob. Yes, ouch.

At least the water pressure is strong. Knock on wood...