Monday, October 13, 2008

Attack of the Giant Stereotypes

Why is it that I always get my best ideas right as I’m drifting off to sleep? Or at least, I think they’re my best ideas. I guess that doesn’t make them particularly good, just better compared to the others. Maybe it’s just that I’m in a particularly welcoming state of mind when the lights go out (try to get past that sentence right there without any comments)…these cold pills probably give me illusions of grandeur. Delusions of grandeur.

Anyway, it’s not fair that I get Freshers’ Flu…I’m not even a Fresher! I swear!

So…everyone’s behaving as they ought to, stereotypically (see title). I was reading a book and biting on a pen yesterday in the park, sitting peacefully against a tree, when an Asian girl came up to me and asked if she could take my picture. The shady German neighbor next door is being shady and German, knocking on my door by day and offering me coffee, drinking vodka and playing European techno by night. I went out this evening (ignoring – denying – signs of sickness) with a group of third year Americans, and we ended up at a good ol’ U S of A restaurant that was surrounded by pubs and pan-Asian bistros, eating ribs and fried chicken. I checked the student “survival guide” when we got back…two out of five stars. Classic. Of course, the Brits are still biking around, saying “bloody” and “cheers” a lot…I met a fantastic Welshman and a Scotsman, but I don’t know enough about the Welsh and didn’t talk long enough to the Scot to determine how they were conforming.

This afternoon, I headed out to the Thames – also known as the Isis? I don’t get it – to try out Oxford rowing. (What flu?) The weather was perfect…blue skies and a slight breeze. It’s a good half-hour’s walk down to the river, though, so I’ll definitely have to invest in a bike if I want to pick up this jolly old tradition. Apparently I have good form, but I think my rhythm needs work. I don’t know any of the lingo, and our novice boat nearly crashed into another boat, causing my oar blade to get jammed between the two vessels, which caused the other end to whack me under the ribs and make a mighty attempt to launch me into the water. I made it, though. Dangerous stuff, messing about in boats…or hey I could be a cox? Ramble ramble…the Nyquil sets in…

No one else seems to be sick, and I think I know why. When I was a little girl living in England, my parents’ good friends would sometimes have us over for tea. On one occasion, I believe just after the family’s first child was born, my parents commented on how quiet the baby was being. “Oh, that’s because he’s out in the garden!” was the response. “What, on his own? Is that safe?” enquired Mom, somewhat appalled. “Oh yes, quite safe, he’s asleep, napping in his pen.” Or something like that. Which explains a lot, I think. Mom should have taken up the practice of airing out her children, because then maybe the fire alarms that keep going off in the middle of the night wouldn’t disturb my immune system so much. Wet hair and freezing toes hasn’t seemed to faze any of the Brits.

Well, before I fall into bed, I think I’ll give you a few hints of what’s to come…here are some of the subject lines in my Oxford inbox:

[FOODCLUB] Welcome to AFTERNOON TEA!
~~Fresher Rowing~~~
BEGINNER’S FENCING *Free Taster Session*
Bop Tonight!!!!
Oxford Union Michaelmas 2008
Pistol Club Induction
And
Oxford Blind Tasting Society!

As you might be able to determine, I have recently put my name on rather a lot of email lists. I think once tutorials and lectures actually start (aka get assigned), my panicky nerd persona will show up and I’ll back out of most, if not all, of these clubs I’ve signed up for. Until then, I’ll continue to make up for all the standard behavior everyone’s displaying by acting completely extroverted and out of character. Or, kind of. …’Night!

9 comments:

Alyssa said...

Oxford Blind Tasting Society!

LOL.

I'm sick right now, too. :((((

I'm all stuffy and runny and my throat is sore and my sinuses are pounding. :(((((((((

But I'm suffering through. :)

Cute Welshman/Scotsman?

Muah,
Alyssa

Bri said...

Em you sound like you're having the bestest time.
But why are you rowing, you nut?

Connie R said...

Em,
I really don't understand Bri's questioning your rowing. After all, wasn't it her Fasher who said his favorite line from "Wind in the Willows" was something about messing about in boats? And bloody hands be durned! :) (Love you, bribri).

I'm glad you're getting in touch with your Sporty Spice side. And I think pistols at dawn and fencing like the Scarlet Pimpernel might just be The Real You (violent Emily?!).

But Blind Tasting? Is that tasting Blind People? Why do they taste different? Or tasting with Blind People? (They probably have developed a compensatory acute sense of taste and will win--if this is a competition?) Or tasting wierd things blindly? Just stop tasting things like fried chicken. And don't publically dance with a German (I've heard it can be quite embarrassing?!).
Love your blog,
mum's the word

Alyssa said...

Oh, Mrs. R,

Em probably has all sorts of violent, bloody, gruesome tendencies all simmering under her poised, stylish surface.

I'm actually worried about the well-being of the blind people she'll be loosed upon. ;P

Ms. Perkins said...

Hi Em!

I decided to check to see if you've been keeping up with your blog from the summer since you arrived in Oxford. I'm glad I did! Not only do I truly enjoy reading your witty and often Laugh Out Loud material, I am SO happy that you seem to be having the time of your life.

Take care and I'll be sure to check back soon.

Love,
Marena

Connie R said...

Clearly, Em, you haven't 'fessed up to your friends (that means YOU, Alyssa dearest) that the family has known you as "Violent Emily" for a long, long time. Bess still bears the physical and emotional scars. :)

Emily said...

as i am always telling you, bess is the violent one and i am just defending myself from her onslaughts. and then she whines to you and i get in trouble.

and we are not eating blind people (i saw one though - white cane must be a universal thing)...we are tasting stuff while wearing blindfolds. i think we are tasting wine, but i am not sure. it's pretty pretentious. or silly. i don't think i'm actually going to carry through with that one.

...hi marena!

Alyssa said...

Em, I completely understand the Little Sister Attack. And I sympathize, being that our sisters are a frightening parallel to ourselves. :P

Muah!

bobcat 34.7 said...

dearest emily,

who was it again who pushed me backward off a bed and then chucked a remote control at my face? ...oh right. that was YOU! and anyway...you are the violent one because i dont use violence against you any more because you are too terrified. thats one of the perks of being taller than you :P